Latinas & Happiness

Reading, Hammock, Relax, Female, Summer, Woman, Book
Hammocks + Books = Happiness

Purely anecdotal but I do not know a lot of latinas who make their own personal happiness a priority, including myself. I got to thinking about this while listening to a podcast called Over It and On With It where life coach, Christine Hassler asked a listener whether she thinks she deserves to be happy. The listener responded with a flood of personal beliefs about happiness which including that being happy means being careless and irresponsible and selfish. When she spoke those words, I was like, “Yes, those are my beliefs too.” It clicked for me. I wish it hadn’t and I wish this is not what I believed. I know this not right or healthy but I totally identified with that listener. This does not make being happy an easy process. I resist it. I come from two immigrant parents who worked really hard for a long time. They valued hard work. I remember my mom always saying we should marry a hard worker. She didn’t say anything about a nice guy or someone who will treat us right or be faithful, it was simply, find a hard worker. And always BE a hard worker. And take care of your family and don’t you dare be selfish and you have to do what’s best for the family and not just for you. Don’t be selfish. My mom’s words have changed a lot and now she just wants us to be happy but undoing all that programming is not easy and takes time.

I read about happiness, relationships, personal development. I listen to podcasts along the same genre. I also write affirmations, exercise, do yoga, try to sleep 8 hours a night. It is working but I still have a hard time putting myself first. I have a hard time doing what is best for me and investing in myself. I now try to surround myself with people who make me happy. I make it convenient so I see these people often and keep in contact with them. But those stupid beliefs still get to me. I’ll have an amazing day spending it with people who I love, full of laughter and games and great food. But toward the end of the day, I start feeling scared and nervous like something bad is going to happen. Like this is too good to be true. I still get scared. I want to allow myself to be happy. I want to take it all in and not worry about the bad, just because things are so good.

I deserve to be happy. And I will do the things I need to do to be happy. And I will experiment and I will get things wrong and I will try again and then try something different. But remember, you deserve to be happy no matter what people told you growing up or no matter what you saw growing up. YOU deserve to be happy. Do one thing today for yourself that will make you happy. And then keep doing it. And then a month from, do a new thing that will make you happy. And then keep doing it. Fill your life with all these things/people/actions/job that make you happy and then there won’t be room for any of that negativity.

 

-Leti

Plan of Attack: Happiness (part 2)

adult, book, business

I read the Happiness Project and couldn’t help but love the organization of Gretchen Rubin’s plan to make yourself happier. Not all people are going to love such a systematic approach to happiness but it appealed to me and my personality. After establishing your personal commandments for the year, you establish the 12 areas of your life you would like to see an increase in happiness. Each area will be a focus for each month of the year.

These are mine:

January: Tidy up your life

February:  Health & Fitness

 

March: Self Care & Exploration

 

April: Companionship

 

May: Passion Projects

June: Confidence

 

July: Nature

August: Friendships

September:  Spirituality

 

October: Leisure

 

November: Business

 

December: Reflection

Next Step: Break down the plan by month.

What areas of your life could you be happier?

-Leti

 

Mi Happiness Project (part 1)

cheerful, close-up, coffee

I read the Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin and I’ve decided to create my own Happiness Project this year just to give me a constant nudge to think about what makes me happy and a reminder to keep doing those things.

Project begins by identifying personal commandments that you use or want to adopt for your life that encourage your own kind of happiness. Here are mine:

  1. Be the kind of woman I want my daughters to be
  2. Go Outside
  3. Forget the Past
  4. Let go, Let God
  5. Stay In Touch
  6. Fail often
  7. I am always more than enough
  8. Be silly, be playful
  9. First, mother yourself
  10. Be a haven, a sanctuary
  11. Create
  12. Be a treasure house of good memories
  13. Smile to yourself
  14. What other people think of me is none of my business
  15. There are no wrong choices
  16. All the heavy things, just let them go
  17. I am not a victim, I am a Creator of my beautiful life.

I like to look at these commandments at the beginning of the day or when I am feeling sad or stressed out.

Next step: Identify 12 areas from your life where you want to be more happy and fulfilled.

What are your personal commandments?

-Leti